Therapy for Gay, Bi & Queer Men

Surviving isn’t the same as feeling free.

You’ve figured out how to navigate a world that wasn’t built for you. Maybe you’ve put together a life that looks solid from the outside — work, relationships, the image you’re supposed to have. But under the surface, it can feel like you’re always scanning, bracing, or wondering when it’s safe to actually be yourself.

Real therapy for queer men’s mental health

Therapy for gay, bi, and queer men isn’t just about processing the past. It’s about making space for the parts of you that had to go quiet just to get by — the parts that still scan the room, brace for judgment, or wonder if you’re too much, not enough, or just always outside the circle.

For some, that shows up as drinking more than you mean to. Or zoning out with sex, apps, weed, work — anything to take the edge off. Not because you’re reckless, but because sometimes it’s the only way it felt safe to exist.

How it can show up

  • Shame that lingers, even if you’re out and proud

  • Dating fatigue or hookup burnout

  • Family dynamics that still sting

  • Overachievement as a shield

  • Numbing out with work, sex, substances, or perfectionism

  • Feeling like you’re performing in every space, even the queer ones

It’s not about being broken. It’s about how you’ve tried to distract yourself from the ache of loneliness, or fill it with something that tries to satisfy your deep yearning for belonging — but it never really does.

What we work on in therapy

As a cis gay man myself, this isn’t theoretical. I know what it’s like to navigate a world that wants you to shrink, hide, or translate who you are. This is why my psychotherapy practice is explicitly affirming and grounded in real, lived experience. You don’t have to explain the basics. You don’t have to censor yourself.

We work on:

  • Making sense of your story without judgment

  • Untangling self-worth from achievement or approval

  • Exploring intimacy, identity, and desire with nuance

  • Healing the subtle and not-so-subtle ways you’ve been told you’re not enough

This is queer therapy for men that welcomes all of you — the ambitious parts, the tender parts, the scared parts, and the unapologetically queer parts.

What starts to shift

Clients often say they feel:

  • Less shame, more self-respect

  • Less proving, more belonging

  • A stronger connection to who they are when no one else is watching

Let’s talk

If you’re ready to stop performing and start healing, I’m here for that. This isn’t therapy that tolerates you — this is therapy that gets you.

I work with gay, bi, and queer men in San Jose, CA and online throughout California.

Reach out and let’s start the conversation.

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