Perfectionism: The Art of Never Being Satisfied
Perfectionism sounds admirable until you’re the one living inside it. On paper, it looks like high standards, discipline, and drive. In reality, it often feels more like anxiety in a three-piece suit. You get the thrill of accomplishment… for about twelve seconds. Then your brain politely asks, “Yes, but could it have been better?”
Spoiler: according to perfectionism, the answer is always yes.
What Is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism isn’t just “wanting things done right.” It’s the chronic suspicion that you, personally, are never right enough. Unlike healthy ambition, perfectionism moves the finish line every time you reach it.
The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism
Perfectionism shows up in ways that drain your energy and relationships:
Work: Editing that email seventeen times, then hating yourself for wasting time.
Relationships: Holding yourself (and sometimes your partner) to impossible standards—then resenting everyone when reality doesn’t measure up.
Self-worth: Believing your value is basically a group project graded by strangers.
The result? Exhaustion, procrastination, anxiety, and a sense that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough.
Why Perfectionism Feels Impossible to Let Go
Perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk—it’s often a survival strategy your nervous system learned early on. Maybe mistakes weren’t safe growing up, or approval felt conditional. Over time, “being flawless” got wired in as the only path to security. Which is why perfectionism doesn’t vanish with a pep talk—it’s more like an overzealous smoke alarm that goes off every time you try something new.
Therapy for Perfectionism: What Actually Helps
Therapy isn’t about forcing you to “embrace imperfection” by chanting affirmations in the mirror. It’s about loosening perfectionism’s grip so you can use your drive without burning out.
That might include:
Untangling from the inner critic (that voice that insists it’s “motivating” you but sounds more like a heckler).
Building self-trust so you don’t need every choice notarized by anxiety.
Redefining “good enough” in ways that let you actually finish things.
Balancing ambition with rest—because caffeine and cortisol aren’t long-term strategy.
Life Beyond Perfectionism
Imagine starting a project without a three-week spiral of overthinking. Or having a conversation without replaying every line like post-game footage. Or ending the day without perfectionism handing you a mental performance review.
That’s the difference: not killing your ambition, but freeing it from the cage of never enough.
Let’s Work on Perfectionism Together
If perfectionism has stopped being a “strength” and started running your life, therapy can help you break the cycle. Contact me to explore therapy for perfectionism and reclaim your time, energy, and peace of mind.