How Do I Know If Therapy Is Working?

One of the most common questions people have (but rarely say out loud) is: “Is this actually helping me, or am I just forking over all my money to this therapist, talking in circles?”

It’s a fair question. Therapy progress doesn’t always look like a lightbulb moment or a Hollywood breakthrough. Sometimes, it’s quieter. It’s the subtle shift from feeling stuck and reactive to noticing what’s really happening inside — and realizing you have more choice than you thought.

What Real Progress Looks Like

Some signs therapy is actually working:

  • You catch yourself responding differently to things that used to set you off.

  • You’re more curious than critical about your own thoughts and feelings.

  • You don’t shove things down as much — you’re able to sit with what’s real without spiraling.

  • You notice you feel less trapped, less alone inside your own head.

  • You trust yourself a bit more — your boundaries, your needs, your gut sense.

Sometimes progress is obvious — like when you feel lighter or more at ease in places that used to feel tight. Other times, it shows up when you handle a familiar trigger in a new way and think, “Huh. That was different.”

When It Feels Slow (and That’s Still Working)

You might feel worse before you feel better — that’s normal. You’re digging into old patterns, naming things you’ve avoided, and trying new ways of being. That’s real work — and sometimes real work is uncomfortable.

Good therapy isn’t about the therapist (me) fixing you. It’s about the therapist (me) helping you fix yourself — by understanding how you work, so you’re not just fighting your own mind on autopilot. It’s about creating more choice, more space, and more connection to what you actually want — and, most importantly, holding you accountable to take the actions that make your wants and needs real.

Insight alone isn’t enough. It’s insight plus action. This is what I can offer you.

If you’re wondering whether therapy could really do that for you, you don’t have to figure that out alone.
Reach out here — let’s see if we’re a good fit, together.

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Why Do I Seem ‘Fine’ on the Outside But Feel Like Sh*t on the Inside?